Those popes who bear the name, "Pius," are the greatest guardians of the Church against heresy. This blog is a watchdog for modernism in the Church. In reality, outside this blog, the members of the board temper their criticisms and opinions with prudence and charity so as to help souls in their journey towards Christ. But sometimes, for the sake of their own sanity, the authors of this blog just need to blow off some steam. The result is Totus Pius.

16 June 2007

Report on the latest liturgical ministry

In the Spirit of Vatican II, We have been collaborating with our illustrious predecessor, Pius I, to develop a new liturgical ministry We believe will help to enrich the lives of the faithful.

We dispatched the Papal Secretary to photograph our latest test in Los Angeles. Things seem to have gone quite nicely.

The test site:
With the Swiss Guard assisting him, Father G. Powter, wearing a specially designed hardhat-biretta contrived by Pius I, was in charge of the detonation.

The result:


We firmly believe that this will soon become one of the fastest growing ministries in the church. We anticipate not only the assistance of the clergy, but the enthusiastic active participation of the laity as well. Together, by tearing down the "old" (read: 1960s-present modern trash) we can unite to build new churches of hope!

It sounds so wonderfully SOVish when We try to pitch it that way. We don't know how anyone could refuse!

Our only roadblock at the moment is a name. We must name this ministry. Any ideas for names?

More to come. In the meantime, we need a pastorally sensitive name and some more test sites.


FatherTF said...

ROFL - very good. However, in the present state of the Church and our temporary shortage of priests, it may be necessary to petition your Holiness for extraordinary ministers of dynamite.

Anonymous said...

I think you picked the wrong team--the SOVII folks would want to protect those buildings. The group you want is on the SOVII banned list--the SSLI (I don't know what the link is, but you can find it there). They are in competition with the tree-huggers at SOVII.

Anonymous said...

We don't understand what is being detonated here! :-/

Anonymous said...

If I weren't so busy at SOV2, I'd offer to be part of the team. Too bad, so sad!

Father Tim said...

Do your worst! We're ready for you! You might want to call your "ministry" the "Evil Spanish-Inquisition-Loving-Let's-Go-Back-To-The-Dark-Ages-RadTrad-NeoCath-Traddie-Cathlofascist Brigades" I think that somes things up. Or as you traddies would say, that "summas" things up! Ha! Bet you thought I didn't know any Latin! Well guess again!

Fr. Tim Plarvik.

(BTW, could you give me some advice on how to get started selling stuff on my 'blog? I saw you've got a cool store and I think we should be selling a bunch of my campaign posters via the 'blog. Thanks a bunch!)

Papa Sanctus Pius V said...

Fr. Finigan - haha good point

Mark - the oppressive soul-crushing structure that is the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels in Los Angeles is what's being detonated!

Sr. Fairah - what a pity

Fr Tim - We are blown away by your knowledge of Latin! Who would have thought! The name is excellent - it is a very pastorally sensitive all encompassing name. It includes just about everyone by name! If you need help with a store, you should request a papal audience via However, we're not sure we condone the sales of such ridiculous propaganda as your own.

humboldt said...

Hundreds of millions of dollars wasted just to satisfy the vanity of one man: Mahony. After all this is going to be his tomb. Not even the Egytians devised such an ugly undertaking as this one. This will be a monument for posterity of the vanity and haughtiness of the U.S. Catholic Church. Amen.

Simon-Peter Vickers-Buckley said...

I think the old minor order of Acolyte should be revived here.

Perfect opportunity.

Anonymous said...


Are you sure you mean Acolyte?

Cathy said...

Are you heading to Oakland next to 'remodel' their new Cathedral?