Those popes who bear the name, "Pius," are the greatest guardians of the Church against heresy. This blog is a watchdog for modernism in the Church. In reality, outside this blog, the members of the board temper their criticisms and opinions with prudence and charity so as to help souls in their journey towards Christ. But sometimes, for the sake of their own sanity, the authors of this blog just need to blow off some steam. The result is Totus Pius.

16 June 2007

Shun the non-believer! Shuuuuuuunnnnnnnnn

It is of no spiritual edification whatsoever. In fact, We are commissioning Pontifical Academy of the Sciences to conduct a study We believe will result in the proof that viewing "Charlie the Unicorn" causes brain cells to die at an abnormally high rate.

Nevertheless, We confess We do take some pleasure in the cartoon and can be heard quoting it on occasion.

We are also commissioning a few students from the University of Notre Dame to make a Latin version. We name Pius VII head of that project.

We had starting writing this post, and then decided to let go, but now he's done it....The cantankerous Roving Medievalist, Mr. J. Miller, as Grand Master of the Militant and Just Bloody Rotten Order of the Torch, recently called for the merciless slaughter of the unicorns! What nerve! Mr. Harvey of the aptly named blog "Leave your head at the door" claimed to have brought their heads to be mounted.

A so it would seem to have happened.

Yet again this past day, Mr. Miller again called for a unicorn hunt! What audacity!

While Mr. Miller despises these creatures, and his crimes (however severe one may deem them) have been committed, we grant him pardon. However, in turn, We hereby place the video "Charlie the Unicorn" under papal protection - anathema to any who dare hack into YouTube to destroy it!

P.S. Those 3 heads might look very nice in the grand hall of our summer residence. (just a thought)


Wonko the Sane said...

What do you know, even His Holiness Pius V adores Charlie the Unicorn...

Hear hear to the anathema on all those who dare oppose its cause!

Papa Sanctus Pius V said...

"Adore" is a very strong word, Wonko. We do not "adore" Charlie. That would be blasphemy. But we do find him mildly amusing and would think it a terrible thing to wipe him and his obnoxious little 'friends' off the face of YouTube


Mary Catherine said...

Why not instead of going after Charlie and his blue and pink friends, why don't they go after that annoying little dancing Y and all the other singing letters that spell out CANDY? They must not like unicorns period...

Jeffrey Smith said...

Always a good idea to check the details. Wouldn't want to hurl an anathema at the wrong blogger. ;)

Papa Pius VII said...

If John Paul II can give his blessing to Pokemon, then We can sure as heck give Our blessing to Charlie. And we can give automatic excommunication for those who oppose him!

Brad Harvey said...

Your Holiness,

When you`re through blessing Charlie, I`d like to say grace over him.

Is that the same thing?


Jeffrey Smith said...

Brad, I'm sorry, but I'd be much more likely to tell them to grow up and notice how presumptuous and offensive this playing at being popes really is.